My Thoughts.

I always give the impression that I don’t let my Epilepsy define me – which in a way, is true. But in many other ways, it does define who I am on the inside, and how other people  perceive me.

I can’t drive, I can’t follow simple instructions without having to have someone explain it to me twice or very clearly, I have to keep re-learning things after I have a grand mal, (I didn’t know how to read/write for a school year or two because of a particularly bad seizure) and as much as I like to believe that I can do things, I just can’t.

I can’t do half of the jobs I want to do because they don’t want someone with Epilepsy doing it in case they have a seizure and it jeopardizes their company, ect.  Or they just don’t undetstand Epilepsy very well.

I haven’t been seizure free (for an entire six months)  in my entire life. Its either a butt load of absent seizures, or just… it doesn’t work out. I also don’t think that even when I’m seizure free for a long time, I won’t want to drive. Because who would want to take the chance? Certainly not me.

I’m mentally all there, I’m as smart as the rest of them, but sometimes…. it doesn’t feel that way. Very weird on that works, huh?

People tell me that I can do things if I just ‘try’, and that’s all I ever do. Is just, ‘try’. It’s exhausting, to tell you the truth. I don’t even want pity, I just want to explain myself a little bit more, you know?




2 thoughts on “My Thoughts.

  1. Thank you for taking the time to say how you feel. I know a bit about Epilepsy but it must be frustrating to know what you want to do and be told no because we are afraid of what may happen, over and over again. Maybe time for education for all of us on what it means to have Epilepsy and what you CAN do.

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